


perhaps it is to avoid some great sadness

by onibi



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, canon? never heard of it, steve rogers in yoga pants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8376445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onibi/pseuds/onibi
Summary: Steve: I took an online quiz and it told me I’d be a cup of black coffee. It says that my good qualities are that I’m friendly, adaptable, and low maintenance.  Bucky: and what did it say you were at your worsta lazy jerk who harasses his boyfriend with inane bullshit online instead of coming in and talking to him face to face or: in which steve gets really into online personality quizzes, everybody suffers, and steve is a huge sap about how much he loves his boyfriend





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 한국어 available: [perhaps it is to avoid some great sadness (한글 번역)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11180022) by [translate_lala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/translate_lala/pseuds/translate_lala)



> title is from frank o'hara's poem 'sleeping on the wing' and honestly his beautiful poetry does not fit this ridiculous fic at all but oh well

**Steve:** Hey Buck. Guess what?

 **Bucky:** steve what the fuck

are you messaging me from the other room

why

just walk in here and talk to me like a normal human being

 **Steve:** I’m tired.

And you haven’t guessed yet.

 **Bucky:** yeah tired is one word for it you lazy shit

 **Steve:** Buckkyyyy.

 **Bucky:** holy shit fine

what is it, steve

and don’t you dare fucking respond with ‘that’s not a guess’ because i am already almost fed up with your bullshit right now

 **Steve:** Fine. Okay. The truth is…

If I were a cup of coffee, I’d be black.

…

Bucky?

 **Bucky:** steve

what the fuck are you talking about

 **Steve:** I took an online quiz and it told me I’d be a cup of black coffee. It says that my good qualities are that I’m friendly, adaptable, and low maintenance.  

 **Bucky:** and what did it say you were at your worst

a lazy jerk who harasses his boyfriend with inane bullshit online instead of coming in and talking to him face to face

 **Steve:** No, it says that I get grumpy and stressed.

 **Bucky:** well that’s true of fucking everyone

did it also say you like smiling and don’t like being sad

or that you have been through difficult situations but got out of them eventually

or that you love your friends

and hate it when things don’t go the way you want them to

 **Steve:** No, it doesn’t.

And those things wouldn’t necessarily be true for everyone. You take the quiz and it tells you things based on your answer.

Come on, you should take it!

https://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcoffeeareyouquiz/

 **Bucky:** oh wow yeah ok

it says that I am shitty gas station coffee

 **Steve:** Buck.

That’s not an option.

And if it was you wouldn’t be it.

 **Bucky:** no it looks like I somehow broke the system because it says that’s what I am

my good qualities are that I keep people awake because they’re afraid to sleep when I’m around

and my bad qualities are everything

 **Steve:** Bucky. You know I can’t get on board with these jokes you’re making.

I love everything about you. You have so many good qualities.

You’re the only cup of coffee I ever want to drink.

 **Bucky:** well rogers

you’ve done it

congratulations on the weirdest compliment anyone’s ever given me

or anyone probably

 **Steve:** It’s true! You’d be delicious!

 **Bucky:** ok this is definitely weird

like I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or messing with me or what

 **Steve:** I’d be able to be more specific, if you took the quiz.

 **Bucky:** jesus fine

ok

apparently I’m irish coffee

what the fuck is that supposed to mean

what are they implying

 **Steve:** Oh, no, Buck. That makes so much sense.

It’s because you’re so intoxicating.

 **Bucky:** oh god

no

 **Steve:** Deep, rich, full bodied…

 **Bucky:** stop oh my god

I’m so embarrassed for you

 **Steve:** Hot, tall and strong…

 **Bucky:** that’s it I’m coming in and stopping this immediately

 **Steve:** And you grind junjiuh riGFyudhfjd.;xlbkjvi

 

 **Bruce:** Uh, can you explain to me why Steve just quizzed me on what kind of ghost I’ll be when I die?

I’m a little scared.

 **Natasha:** omg

that’s funny

 **Bruce:** Do you know why, though?

 **Natasha:** no idea sorry

what were you though

 **Bruce:** A friendly ghost? Apparently?

 **Natasha:** boringgggggg

 **Bruce:** That’s not very nice, Natasha.

 **Natasha:** ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

that’s me

if I saw you as a ghost

zzzZZZzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

 

 **Steve:** Sam!

 **Sam:** Steve!

What’s up dude

 **Steve:** Not much, honestly.

Sometimes I get bored when there’s no world saving to do.

 **Sam:** Yeah

You could probably pick up a hobby

I mean other than running because that alone is not enough to spend your days doing

Ever tried knitting? Heard it’s pretty cathartic

Also didn’t you used to draw

 **Steve:** Hmm…

Oh!

I took a quiz and it says if I were a hobby, I’d be Yoga.

 **Sam** : Huh

I guess I can see that

But why is it if you were a hobby instead of what hobby should you try

 **Steve:** Because this way it tells me what kind of person I am.

 **Sam:**??? Can’t you just tell that already

From like, you know

Being alive

 **Steve:** Yeah…

Sometimes I don’t know.

 **Sam:** What do you mean?

 **Steve:** I just mean it can be a little tough.

The world has such an obscured idea of who I am, and then I hear about it, and I think, yeah, that must be right, even when it’s not.

I think for a while there I lost sight of who I was, a little bit.

It’s nice to be reminded of what’s important to me, these concrete ideas that I know are so fundamental to who I am, that I feel sometimes get lost in all the madness of everything.

You know?

 **Sam:** Yeah, I get that

 **Steve:** I guess maybe I’ll try yoga then.

You should take the quiz too!

 **Sam:** I’m good, man

know exactly who I am

Plus, I don’t need extra shit to do right now

 **Steve:** Fair enough.

Will you come with me to buy a yoga mat?

 **Sam:** Dude. Of course

Like you even need to ask

 

**Tony stark has created the group What the Fuck guys**

**Tony:** ok can someone explain how I just walked in on cap doing yoga????

like in the tight pants and everything.

 **Natasha:** send pics

 **Bucky** : fuck off nat

but

I mean

if you have them

 **Tony:** I left too quickly to get any.

now can someone explain!?!?!

 **Bruce:** Does it matter? He’s probably just trying to relax.

 **Sam:** He took an online personality quiz that told him he was yoga

 **Bruce:** What? He WAS yoga?

 **Bucky:** fuck

not this again

 **Tony:** what? again????

what do you mean again???

**Bucky has left the conversation.**

 

 

 **Bucky** : STEVE

are you doing yoga because a quiz told you to

steve

answer me

I already know it’s true

steve

steve

steve

where the fuck are you

steve

steve

steve

steve

steve

 **Steve:** Oh hey, Buck. Sorry, I just got out of the shower.

And yes, I did do yoga because of a quiz. It was great.

 **Bucky:** this is getting ridiculous

 **Steve:** Really? Well, I’m having a great time.

 **Bucky:** seriously

I mean jesus

did you really buy yoga pants and everything

 **Steve:** Yep.

 **Bucky:** so

I mean

 **Steve:** What is it, Bucky?

Would you perhaps like to SEE my yoga pants?

 **Bucky:** fuck off

and yes of course

 **Steve:** Okay, no problem.

Just take this quiz first.

https://www.blogthings.com/areyouwithyoursoulmatequiz/

 **Bucky:** ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

why is this happening

are you having some sort of crisis

 **Steve:** None more than usual.

C’mon, I wanna know if you think we’re soulmates.

 **Bucky** : you mean you wanna know if some random quiz website thinks we’re soulmates

 **Steve:** Yeah.

 **Bucky:** wow

ok

well

I’m so sorry steve

look

we’ve been together since literally the 1940s

but

and I hate to break this to you kid I really do

this website says

we’re not soulmates

 **Steve:** What?

I took it and it says we are.

 **Bucky:** well buddy

a relationship’s a two way street

and whilst I certainly thought I was with the love of my life

I guess this quiz has other ideas

so we gotta break up

 **Steve:** Ha ha.

Did you answer it seriously?

 **Bucky:** how the hell can you expect me to take any of this seriously

 **Steve:** Gee, I don’t know, Buck. Maybe because I asked you to?

 **Bucky:** what

hey are you actually mad at me

we’re not seriously going to fight over this are we

 **Steve:** No, we’re not. I’m not picking a fight with you.

I just sometimes think you can be a little dismissive of things that I try to talk to you about.

 **Bucky:** oh

I didn’t know you felt like that

I’m sorry

 **Steve:** It’s okay, Bucky. I know you find it easier to treat everything as a joke, and I love it, because I love you.

 **Bucky:** sap

 **Steve:** Yeah, I am.

But sometimes I’m just trying to be sincere. Maybe I don’t convey that in the best way.

 **Bucky:** it’s ok

you do everything just fine you’re perfect

I’m the piece of shit

 **Steve:** Don’t even start, Bucky.

Do you want me to come in and start listing all the things I love about you again?

Give you a massage?

 **Bucky:** … maybe

 **Steve:** Okay, I’m coming up now.

 **Bucky:** steve

 **Steve:** Yeah Buck?

 **Bucky:** can you wear the yoga pants

 **Steve:** ;)

 

**Tony Stark has created the group NO REALLY GUYS WHAT THE FUCK**

**Tony:** someone explain immediately why the hell cap just looked at me all accusingly and said ‘if you were a type of herbal tea you’d be cinnamon’????

 **Sam:** Think he’s trying to connect with you man

 **Tony:** how in the hell does that make any sense.

 **Bruce:** That’s not as bad as the quiz he gave me.

 **Tony:** quiz??? he didn’t GIVE me a quiz. he just told me I’d be cinnamon tea.

by the way, what the ever loving hell does that even mean???

 **Bruce:** That you’re warm and comfortable?

 **Bucky:** that you taste like shit and nobody likes you

 **Clint:** WOW

what is going ON

 **Natasha:** fucking SAVAGE barnes

 **Bruce:** I think I’d like cinnamon tea.

 **Bucky** : gross dude

why am I in this conversation I don’t wanna hear about the hulk’s weird fetishes

**Bucky has left the conversation.**

**Tony:** BECAUSE YOU’RE HIS BOYFRIEND AND

oh, great. he’s gone.

 **Natasha:** he has a point tho

nobody likes cinnamon tea

**Tony Stark has left the conversation.**

 

 **Sam:** Okay wtf I just took a which avengers member are you and I got you?

And I checked okay I WAS an option

 **Steve:** Hahaha. That’s funny!

I got Nat. I made Bucky take it too, and he got Tony.

 **Sam:** Well

That can’t have gone well

 **Steve:** He just laughed it off.

You know what? I don’t think these strangers know us very well.

 **Sam:** You might just be right about that Rogers

 

 **Bucky** : okay steve

get ready for this

 **Steve:** What? Bucky, weren’t you just complaining to me the other day about messaging you from the other room?

I can literally see you through the door.

 **Bucky:** no listen stevie this is important

I’m going to quiz you

 **Steve:** What?

What about?

 **Bucky:** just answer the questions asshole

okay number one:

when you see your boyfriend (bucky) ((barnes)) (((that’s me))) how does it make you feel

a) good

b) great

c) fantastic

 **Steve:** Those are some pretty limiting options, Buck.

The worst I could rate you here is still “Good”.

 **Bucky:** is that your answer then

 **Steve:** No! Of course it’s C.

 **Bucky:** ok great next question:

when you think about yourself in 50 years, who is there by your side

a) me (bucky) 

b) some other bastard

c) nobody I’m dying alone

 **Steve:** A.

 **Bucky:** ok final question

 **Steve:** Already? Three questions isn’t very standard for an online quiz, you know.

They’re usually at least five.

 **Bucky:** shut up steve I’m breaking all the rules and conventions

nobody can stop me

 **Steve:** All right, go on then.

 **Bucky:** ok here it is:

will you marry me

a) yeah

b) nah

c) I have to think about it

 **Steve:** BUCKY.

You can’t ask me to marry you in a QUIZ

 **Bucky:** is that a no

 **Steve:** For the love of

 

 

 **Sam:** Barnes, first off congrats again

Secondly, is what Steve said really true? Did you seriously propose to him over instant messenger with a quiz?

 **Bucky:** uhhh yeah

I guess I did

 **Sam:** Well, that’s

Good for you two

 **Bucky:** thanks

I mean technically afterwards he came in all teary eyed and got down on one knee and asked me

but then I got mad because I was supposed to be the one asking so I also got down on one knee and asked him back

and he told me I was being stupid and I said no you

anyway so that’s our romantic story we’re gonna tell our grandkids

 **Sam** : Not gonna lie, I think that’s pretty sweet

 **Bucky:** yeah

me too

 

 

 **Bucky:** hey steve

 **Steve:** Yeah, Buck?

Not going to mention the fact that you’re lying right next to me.

 **Bucky:** I’m too tired to talk ok

 **Steve:** Now who’s lazy.

 **Bucky:** shut up

I just wanna ask how has it been three weeks and you haven’t once sent me a ‘what kind of husband will you be’ quiz or some shit

 **Steve:** Aww. Were they growing on you?

 **Bucky:** no

I still think they’re a complete waste of time

I’m just surprised is all

you’ve made me find out what kind of fucking bean I am for god’s sake

 **Steve:** I don’t need you to take a quiz like that, Buck.

I already know the result will be the best, most lovable and loving husband in the world, who I will stay by my side always, ‘til death do us part.

 **Bucky:** jesus christ

you are SUCH a sap

I love you so much you ridiculous asshole

 **Steve:** Love you too, Buck.

:)

 **Bucky:** :)

 **Steve:** https://www.blogthings.com/whatcoloroftherainbowareyouquiz/

 **Bucky:** oh FUCK OFF

 **Steve:** Wait, Bucky come on!

I bet you’ll be blue!

That’s my favourite color.

 **Bucky:** I’m leaving

you can marry someone else

 **Steve:** Red’s a pretty good one, too. Maybe you’ll be red.

 **Bucky:** blocking you

 **Steve:** Nooooo

Come back to bed

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Buck

Buck

Bucky Barnes

Buchanan Barnes

James Buchanan Barnes

B

U

C

K

 **Bucky:** FINE I’m coming back jesus

you are such a needy asshole

and for the record, it says I would be blue

so you were right

jerk

 **Steve:** Knew you would be.

My favourite color, my favourite guy.

 **Bucky:** go to bed, steve

 **Steve:** Okay. Goodnight. xxxxxxxx

 **Bucky:** coulda just kissed me for real

 **Steve:** You’re right.

There you go.

 **Bucky:** idiot

gnight

x

 

**Author's Note:**

> send me prompts n stuff [on tumblr](http://o-nibi.tumblr.com)!!!


End file.
